12 Things Not to Say at a Job Interview

1. I don't like working with a team OR by myself...
2. My main skill?  Certificate forgery...
3. The voices told me you'd say that...
4. You know what, I'm not sure I actually have any good points...
5. Where did I last work?  I don't know, where am I now?...
6. My biggest problem?  Severe and outwardly focussed anger...
7. References, would my Mum count?  Oh no even she hates me...
8. Look into my eyes, the eyes, not around the eyes, you're under....
9. My past jobs?  Oooooh you don't want to hear about those...
10. I've only got 45 years until retirement and I'm looking for somewhere to ride them out...
11. What did I learn from my last job?  All people are bastards...
12. I'd do absolutely anything for this job, yes even that...