Comedians have "Superior psychological abilities"

This week, an in-depth study was released from the University of "I'm just making this up", in East London, showing that while comedians are typically thought to be weirdy psychotic types they are actually psychologically superior and have special abilities.

The main finding was that comedians have superior flexibility of mind.  While a "normal person" (which is comedian talk for non-comedians) sees situations unfold in their day to day life, they take them for face value, while comedians will spend most of their effort thinking of different ways of looking at everything in the desperate bid to come up with something funny to say in order to be liked by strangers.

The second psychological ability of the comedian is courage.  Getting up in front of a group takes some courage, no, not foolhardiness, courage... no, not a desire to please above anything else even their self preservation, courage.  A simple technique used by most comedians is to simply hallucinate that they are amazing orators and that the uninterested audiences are actually revelling in their brilliant social commentary about paedos and wanking.  PS Yes, there is an a in paedo.  We are not Americans, except for those of you who are.

And the third psychological ability of the comedian is their superior fox grooming skill.  While non-comedians see a fox and think "ah bugger me there's a fox", comedians see the foxes true potential and visualise the various different styles that could suit that individual fox.  And even though the foxes seem like they really are not into it, comedians go the extra mile and pin the foxes down and take to them with a high level of hairdressing finesse.  Because foxes don't know what's best for them do they?  They don't know if their haircut is making them look like a dick.  And they just don't know how much better life can be if they diversify and maybe try a mullet or a rats tail.

Richard Lindesay


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