RICHARD LINDESAY
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Inaccurately Named UK Shops

12/11/2014

 
Shortly after arriving in the UK I had a hankering for a lovely Indian dinner, a pair of large and rugged high-topped shoes, and the desire to somehow be turned into a superhero.  So off on my mission I went.

So I went into the first place I saw which seemed by it's name to be an Indian restaurant.  It was a weird experience in that instead of tables, chairs and plates,  they just had islands of tables full of phones, computers, and cords.  The taste wasn't quite right either, everything tasting dusty and way too crunchy.  Overall was disappointed with Currys.

Next off, the shoes.  Instead of the lovely leathery smell of an ordinary shoe shop, this shop smelled like cheap cosmetics mixed with the smell of the infirm and unwell.  I tried to put my feet into many things in the shop but nothing quite fit.  Sorry Boots, worst shoe shop ever.

Now off to try to achieve my dream of becoming a superhero.  The obvious choice seemed to be SuperDrug, as many a superhero started by having some sort of narcotic experience that transformed them.  But after taking one of each of the pills in SuperDrug, and awaking a few weeks later in hospital, I was disappointed to find that I didn't have large sharp metal protracting claws coming from my knuckles.






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