Let’s be realistic here, life has ups and downs, and no-one could expect that they’d have a whole happy year.  I wouldn’t want to set your expectations too high, because then the first time you have a sad moment in 2014 it would be on me.

But for the day, have a happy one.  If you like.  Some people don’t like to be happy for a whole day.  Because complaining and moaning can be quite fun, in fact there is a whole TV show dedicated to prompting people to do so.  It’s called “The News”.  Look at that, I just got topical.

Maybe I should stop thinking about this too much and just be like a normal person and flippantly wish that you have a completely happy 2014.  Yeah, and for some magic reason next year you will be a completely different person, all the things that were bad last year will be gone, and the things that you dreamed about as a little girl* will come true within the next 365 days.

That sounds nicer doesn’t it.  And that’s what is most important in life, making things sound nice.

Happy new year.

Love Richard

* or boy


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So it's coming up to the end of the year and I thought for a special Xmas gift, I'd share with you my top three website pics for the year of 2013.  Aren't you lucky?  Well don't get ahead of yourself, read this first, use it as a guide for how to best use your Internet, and then come back and thank me afterwards.


Site 1 - www.facebook.com

This is a rather niche site for people who like to see adults turn into children.  It's rather odd, one day you'll have "friends" who are normal adults, and then the next day they'll magically turn into children.  To mix it up a bit, sometimes a fully grown lady will turn into a little boy, or a man will turn into a little girl.  The site is growing in popularity so there must be more people out there into adult-child transformation than one might expect.


Site 2 - www.google.com

The main purpose of this site is to find out what teenagers don't know, but are afraid to ask their parents.  The trick is to type something into the box, and you are magically told what teenagers are thinking about the topic.  Here are some examples.

So teenagers obviously don't know about umbrellas, feeding cats, what to and what to not intentionally smell, and they drink too much.

The main thing to glean about this search is that teenagers don't know when to go to the doctors.

This one is evidence that no matter what teenagers say about lyrics, food, and alcohol, they can't be trusted.


Site 3 - www.puttingweirdthingsincoffee.com

And of course last and by no means least, the ever popular "Putting Weird Things in Coffee".  I think it's fair to say that at least once every few days we all wonder what it would be like to have coffee with raw egg, coffee with haggis, or coffee with cheddar.  But the thought ends there as we lose confidence in our ability to do such a drink justice.  Well no more my friend, you, like I, can now benefit from the years of experience of niche coffee making laid out on this site.  Just be careful not to overuse this, and become yet another statistic in the fight against "Putting Weird Things in Coffee" addiction.


Merry Xmas, enjoy the sites.

by Richard Lindesay



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Last night I was wandering around town and came across a rather odd store.  The store had things for sale that were works of literature, but rather than the usual screen based reading such as on the iPad or your favourite Android based device, the reading material were in some strange formation using offcuts of trees. 

Each of them had two thick tree offcuts, with lots of much thinner tree offcuts between them.  Holding it all together was something that seemed a bit like a human spine, which for the sake of this conversation I'll refer to it as an "tree offcut spine", which held the thick and thin tree offcuts together as a spine does for the inside bits of a human.

Upon closer investigation, I was shocked to notice that rather than each configuration of tree offcuts having access to any literature, each one had inscribed only one single piece.  Also each of the tree offcuts cost more than the equivalent literature would cost on a normal literature reading device, which I assumed was because of the ludicrous amount of resources and effort that would no doubt have had to take place for production and distribution.

I concluded that this whole thing was someone playing a sick joke by basically providing a substandard copy of the online literature provider Amazon, and in doing so using enough tree offcuts so as to have a massively harmful effect on the rainforests, such as the one also called Amazon.

Richard Lindesay


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