Going to a comedy show is a bit like going to a fairground. You generally know what you're in for, you know that it is likely to be safe, you expect it to be amusing, and you expect there to be variety and surprise.
You may not like every ride. Some rides will be for you, some won't. Some rides might be more suitable for those with less of a nervous disposition, some family friendly, some horrifying. There may be some rides that you are familiar with and yet still enjoy, and others which you have not experienced before. You might like these unfamiliar rides, you might not.
The comedians are the tour guides, and the rides are the jokes. The comedian has to entice you onto the ride by making it look interesting and worth the time and bother. The ride then has to be enjoyable, and have a level of surprise. Some rides are like a long winding entertaining tale that ends in a sudden enthralling drop, so are enjoyable along the way and surprising at the end. Others are more short and abrupt, and just as you are getting used to the ride it goes off in multiple different directions with many surprises.
If the comedian gets it right by enticing you onto the best rides, keeping it interesting, and keeping it surprising, then you will know they're in a safe pair of hands and trust them enough to go on more of their rides. If the comedian misjudges and entices the you onto a ride that don't suit you, you might not want to go on another one. If the rides are too long without being interesting along the way, you may lost interest and want to get off before the surprise. If the rides don't have enough of a surprise element, you might not bother getting onboard another ride.
So to sum up my magical fairground theory of comedy, the comedian's job is to:
One of my first jobs was working in a retail store in New Zealand selling various grades of electrical equipment. If you don't believe me, then have a look at the above photo of me all dressed up at the job, with a tie and an amazingly smily chirpy teenaged face.
So today I am going to impart to you the special 10 step retail sales training method I learned, which was something like the following:
Ok so that’s all 11 steps of the 10 step sales process. I can hear your amazement through the Internet wires. “Richard!” you’re saying with a confused and bewildered look on your face, “How can you be so generous to give away these amazing secrets! I’m going off right now to get a job in retail myself and am looking forward to watching the cheques flood in!”. Well I’m going to take it a step further and tell you my secret 2 step sales method which is even more amazing.
But before you read any further, I want you to promise to me that if you go and get a job in retail and use this method then you will share a percentage of your profits with me. Ok? In fact I’m going to need you to sign before you read any further:
Signed: _________________ Print Name: __________________
Ok so here’s the abbreviated retail sales 2-step method extraordinary, otherwise known as ARS2ME.
Enjoy your riches.
Shortly after arriving in the UK I had a hankering for a lovely Indian dinner, a pair of large and rugged high-topped shoes, and the desire to somehow be turned into a superhero. So off on my mission I went.
So I went into the first place I saw which seemed by it's name to be an Indian restaurant. It was a weird experience in that instead of tables, chairs and plates, they just had islands of tables full of phones, computers, and cords. The taste wasn't quite right either, everything tasting dusty and way too crunchy. Overall was disappointed with Currys.
Next off, the shoes. Instead of the lovely leathery smell of an ordinary shoe shop, this shop smelled like cheap cosmetics mixed with the smell of the infirm and unwell. I tried to put my feet into many things in the shop but nothing quite fit. Sorry Boots, worst shoe shop ever.
Now off to try to achieve my dream of becoming a superhero. The obvious choice seemed to be SuperDrug, as many a superhero started by having some sort of narcotic experience that transformed them. But after taking one of each of the pills in SuperDrug, and awaking a few weeks later in hospital, I was disappointed to find that I didn't have large sharp metal protracting claws coming from my knuckles.
I have spotted a trend over the last 36 years when it comes to the topic of yelling in public. The trend I've noticed is that no-one ever yells anything that is useful. The yells tend to go along the lines of "Oi you person who has just driven in a car in a way that has mildly inconvenienced me, I want you to know that I am not happy with that!", albeit usually put in a way that is more pithy and sweary.