Interviews for Richard's main Coffee Shop

So I'm leaving for the UK, and unfortunately that means that I'll no longer be able to go to my favourite coffee shop in the world, Double Barrel, on 33 York St, in the city of Sydney.  

So this is formal notice that there is a vacancy for Richard's main coffee shop.  Please read the following criteria carefully before you apply:

• Must be in London, walking access from a tube station that is easy for Richard to get to.
• Must be able to quickly pick up Richard's coffee lingo, such as "Double-up Tuesdays" which means that Richard wants a single origin espresso as well as a flat white.
• Must sell single origin espresso and flat whites.
• Your milk must not screech when you are preparing it, as screeching means that the milk is sad and will punish you by tasting terrible.
• Must grind coffee per order, rather than let a whole bunch get stale throughout the day.
• You must put up with Richard's special coffee joke of the day, a sample being "Why didn't the coffee cross the road?  Already bean."  Laughing is not compulsory, but heckling is forbidden.

Applications through my Facebook page, www.facebook.com/richardlindesay.

Richard Lindesay