I am immediately put off this article of mine because of the way I've used "vs" in the title. It reminds me of two things that I am embarrassed about being familiar with, one being the fad of 90s and early 2000 computer games where the players names were shown at the top of the screen with "vs" between them, and the other being those songs where two Americans collaborate in a song and instead of referring to it correctly as a duet, they refer to it as something like Big-E-Small Vs Puppy-G-Dog. I can barely bring myself to continue writing.
But I have continued, as you can see. There are more words to this, here's some, here's some more, and a quick glance down will show you that there are a bunch more to come. Is more words better than good words? Is dubious grammar but more grammar better than not as much but better grammar? Will there be a point to all of this? Is it too subtle?
I was walking along the other day in the city of London, and as usual expending most of my energy observing people's coffee habits. I noticed that the bigger the coffee cup, the worser the coffee, and the smaller the coffee cup, the better the coffee. Although I think that it is more that the companies who make terrible coffee think that they can overcompensate for badness of coffee by providing more of it. How do they manage to sell this idea? We don't see Primark selling only massive clothes, that would be silly. But the big chain coffee shops manage to convince people to buy and drink a gallon cup of something that tastes like it came out the back of a cow. Surely it would make more sense for terrible coffee to be sold in particularly tiny cups so that those who are drinking it can think to themselves "Wow, this is absolutely awful but at least I'm nearly finished."
So you may be thinking that yet again I have managed to make one of my articles more about coffee than comedy. But look closer, as each of the paragraphs above have comedy in them if you look really hard. A clue if you are reading this on an iPad is to do that two finger thing where you put your fingers together then move them gradually apart therefore making the words bigger. The bigger the words, the easier it is to see the comedy hidden in them.